It is not visible but we can make it stronger, which is the bond between parent and baby. Once my baby was born, it is physically impossible to reconnect each other.
Then how can we connect with invisible thread? This is the things no one teach us, maybe because there are many different ways and we won’t know which ways are suitable for parents and baby. So I think the bonding is truly an individual experience doesn’t have to be same with others.
Thinking about the bond, some words are coming up my mind; love, reliance, warmth, understanding, respect, protection and good relationship. To make it tight, I have been doing some simple ways at each stage but I feel it is not easy to build quickly. We need to take a long time and keep doing is important as well.
When my kids were 0 – 12 months baby, I did
- Cuddling or holding baby with my arms gently. It is said that human touch is soothing for both me and my baby
- Communicate with her every day, and telling what I am doing, what she might feel, even though she can’t answer I believed she was listening
- Having a breastfeeding time together, was a special time for only baby and me promote my relaxation
- Feeling your baby’s warmth, smelling baby’s sweet scent, and looking down often to make eye contact with them whenever holding her
- Singing or Story telling while lying down next to each other
- Playing with action songs
- Baby dance which carrying baby and stepping on favorite music makes good relationship
As additional ways to bond when my kids were 1 – 2 year old when they started to have curiosity and wanted to do anything, I tried to let them do and did keep eyes on my kids in case of accident. I think that build reliable, respectable, and protective relationship with kids.
Since this age, kids might start walking by themselves. However when my kids asked me for carrying, I mostly said “YES”, because this is the only time I can hold them. Imagine when they grew up old, we can’t hold them even if I want to Now my kids are 6 and 4 years old, to make good relationship, I make it habit to tell them “I love you” and “We are very happy that you were born”. They seems very happy and being confidence and relief. Cuddling, communicating, playing, physical touching together still keep doing. Especially kids like to have a massage at the bed time, it helps to ease their stress or physical fatigue. And I also believe that makes our bond tighter.
I learned that skin to skin contact with mom helps to build emotional stability, and sociality is nurtured by physical touching. I also would like to value the ways to bond with my kids and my husband for the rest of my life.